God writes straight with crooked lines, Part 2.

I barely slept at all that night. The night I found out I had cancer. I went from believing that we caught it early enough and I'd live a long life to panic that I only had a few months to live. There were other reasons I couldn't sleep. I had a bad cough that was causing sharp chest pain and it seemed to be getting worse. I pulled a muscle in my back earlier that week and was still feeling some soreness from that. I had a second round of bug bites all over my abdomen that were itching like crazy along with an unrelated rash on my ankles that itched the same. I couldn't help but feel a little like Job, although my family and belongings were still in tact and my wife was not telling me to curse God and die. So I had nothing to complain about.

The monster.

Reeve woke up crying around 1:00AM. I went to his room and knelt down to talk to him. He said he was scared of the monsters. I laid down beside him, but he would not calm down. As I laid beside him, trying to console him, I looked at the bookshelf and noticed that one of the fabric bins with a face on it, looked very much like a monster. I got up and turned it around. Reeve immediately calmed down and soon fell asleep. I went back to my bed, laid down, and began to weep. My wife was up, too, as she could not sleep either. I said through the sobbing, "I can't leave my family. Who will take care of the monsters?"

Not being able to sleep, I got up early the next day and went into the sun room to talk to God. I begged God to speak to me. I opened the Bible to 1 Kings 9 were God tells Solomon, "I have heard your prayers and your request. I have set apart this temple you have built so that my name will be honored forever. I will always watch over it and care for it." Those words jumped out at me. I felt the presence of God surround me as if being hugged by a cloud. "Thank you, God! Thank you!" I cried. God goes on to tell Solomon to follow Him with integrity and godliness and it will go well, but God also gives him a warning to not turn away. I felt like God was telling me, "Walk with integrity, Shane. I got this." One of my favorite Psalms is Psalm 128. I had written it on a note card a few years back as a theme for my life. The note card fell out of my Bible.

Blessed are all who fear the Lord, who walk in obedience to him.

You will eat the fruit of your labor; blessings and prosperity will be yours.

Your wife will be like a fruitful vine with your house;

your children will be like olive shoots around your table.

Yes, this will be the blessing for the man who fears the Lord.

May the Lord bless you from Zion;

may you see the prosperity of Jerusalem all the days of your life.

May you live to see your children's children - peace be on Israel. Psalm 128(NIV)

 
 

I felt an overwhelming peace. I went to work for a few hours to help out where I could. It was weird walking around knowing I had a cancerous tumor growing inside me. No one at work knew at that point except for Lynn Stieglitz, Joe Beer, and Beth Stieglitz. Lynn and I talked briefly about it.

Stef and I went to the appointment with Dr. Elhassan, the surgeon. While in the waiting room, Seth, my brother, sent me a voice memo message on my phone. He recited Annie Johnston Flint's poem, "He giveth more grace." I realized it was the same poem that had given me much comfort when I heard Ravi Zacharias recite it in "Questions of a man in agony, part 1." I told my mom about this later that day and she said it was one of her all time favorite songs and she used to always announce it during singings in Milford.

Dr. Elhassan

Dr. Elhassan was great. He came in the room with a big smile on his face. He clearly explained everything to us and was hopeful that he could remove the tumor with possibly no chemo. After he was done explaining everything and answering our questions, he stood up, shook our hands and said "Enjoy the coming twins! You are going to live a long life." Tears welled up in our eyes as he said these reassuring words and we said, "Thank you, Doctor, thank you" as we praised the Great Physician in our hearts.

I had a round of tests that afternoon. CT scans, blood work and and an EKG. They took all afternoon. We continued to get a flood of texts and messages. So many people were praying and offering to help. It was overwhelming to see the body of Christ respond in such a powerful way. On the way home, Stef and I talked about having Molly Steffen organize the help for us. Later, when we got home and talked to Mom, she told us that Molly was already doing it. Praise the Lord and bless Molly.

Fireworks!

The fourth of July weekend was relaxing. We spent the weekend at Mom and Dad Beer's. It was nice to enjoy time with the kids, talk to Mom and Dad, and kind of "get-away" from everything going on.

On the evening of July 6th, just before bed, Stef was feeling very anxious and overwhelmed with everything going on in our lives. We still had not heard back about the test results and I was awaiting my second colonoscopy to see if there were any more tumors. We felt the prayers uplifting us and knew God was in control, but still felt an inescapable tinge of underlying anxiety. I reached over and grabbed the devotional book that my Grandma Wuethrich had given us called "Bedside Blessings" by Charles Swindoll. I was looking for some comfort. I turned to July 6th, but immediately noticed July 5th. I read it out loud. As I read it, Stef said, "You're making this up. It doesn't say that!" as she reached for the devotional to disprove my words. I said, "Honey, if that's not clear words from Jesus, I don't know what is." Here is what it said: (I've added parenthesis.)

 

Fears lurk in the shadows of every area of life. Perhaps you've suddenly discovered that an unexpected addition to your family is on the way. Don't be afraid. God can enable you to handle four (or five) kids just like He helped you handle three. You many be uncertain where your job is leading. The future may look very threatening. You are uneasy about what's around the corner. Or perhaps you have a doctor's appointment pending and you are afraid of what the exam might reveal. Jesus says, "Stop being afraid. Trust Me!"

Psalm 22:8 Commit yourself to the Lord; let Him deliver...